Presenting Autism Awareness Cards
16 SEPTEMBER 2021
Autism caregivers! Have you ever been in a situation where you needed a quick way to explain autism to a stranger? For example, you’re in the grocery with your child in tow, and all of sudden, he/she throws themself to the floor and has a meltdown. Fellow shoppers give you a disdainful look, as if to say, “You obviously have no control over your child.” In this stressful situation, while trying to calm your child down, you’re also trying to calm yourself before you snap and go postal on this seemingly judgmental public. Folks, I’ve been in this situation too many times to count, however, I’ve found a way to diffuse a potentially combative situation. Presenting…autism awareness cards!
These business-sized cards are a helpful medium to educate the general public about autism. They simply state a few brief facts about autism, explain why certain behaviors happen and refer bystanders to a source where they can learn more. That said, time and time again, I’ve always wondered if presenting these cards to someone in the supermarket or on a bus, for examples, is truly beneficial in alleviating a stressful situation with the hope to foster understanding, patience and tolerance? Or does it come across as trying to illicit pity, whilst revealing my daughter’s autism to an absolute stranger?
Admittedly to this day, (my daughter is turning 13 next month), I still have quandaries about this. Sometimes, I’m afraid of how folks would use this label of autism to prejudice themselves from appreciating the entire being of my daughter, who has an absolutely personality, not to mention amazing special-abilities, amidst her nuances. Would all they see is a child with a problem? Plus, there is the concern of safety. Suppose my daughter is targeted because of her autism? Think of recent incidents where autistic children were abducted. However, on the flip side (no pun intended), perhaps if I had one of these cards in my arsenal, it could have diffused the tension described below?
A few years ago, I was excited about my daughter’s first day of school. Ecstatic that she would be in a school setting, while selfishly for a few hours, I could finally get some peace and quiet, catch up on work and EXHALE! As most parents would attest, after a hectic summer, first day of school is a day of jubilee!
Her school bus was scheduled to arrive at seven. By eight, no bus. Like any child, my daughter got agitated, repeatedly stripping off her clothes, jumping on the bed, and galloping all over the house like the underdog horse in the Belmont Stakes! It was not her fault, but I was losing patience. Eight-thirty and still no bus. She was late. Feeling that I was about to have a stroke, I got her dressed for the fifty-millionth time and decided to take her myself. Besides, she loves riding on the MTA buses.
In the packed bus, a woman offered her seat to my daughter, who immediately catapulted onto it, facing the window. Then disaster struck. Another woman in the adjacent seat barked: “Can’t you make your child sit properly? Make her behave!” Folks, here was that oh so tender moment when after a stressful morning, I was at the breaking point. I snapped back: “This is the way she sits! Trust me lady, this is not the time or the place!” Some bystanders quietly snickered, while others gave me a sympathetic look. I started to feel guilty. I was wrong. It’s not the woman’s fault. She doesn’t understand. Maybe, she also had a rough morning.
Would gifting an autism awareness card have eased the tension in that moment? I believe so because though as my grandmother says, “We see people’s faces, but don’t see their hearts,” there’s the altruistic side of me that doesn’t like to condemn, but instead empathize with another person’s standpoint, albeit “ignorant,” or not. I don’t talk about autism for sympathy or pity. My desire is to open doors into the reality of our lives as caregivers, and build understanding, tolerance and growth of our “artistic” children. Please share your sentiments.
This Saturday, join Rockaway Beach Autism Families at our 2nd Annual Skate/Pizza Party at Bayswater Park Skatepark (701 Bay 32nd Street). Hank Lewis of SURF SKATE FITNESS will demonstrate paddle skateboarding. Plus skateboard raffle. For more info, email kami@rockawaybeachautismfamilies.org or visit Rockaway Beach Autism Families on Facebook.
By Kami-Leigh Agard